An environment of trust in the private Memoir Hub

An environment of trust in the private Memoir Hub

Welcome to the Private Memoir Hub.

This hub is a gathering place for people like you, who want to write their memoir.

Above all else, this hub is a place where you can feel safe and secure, and free to share innermost thoughts and feelings. Writing a memoir requires opening a door to your hitherto closely guarded private self. This can be challenging, depending on your life experiences.

To help you feel safe in writing what you want to share, this hub prioritises truth and thrives on trust. Trust encourages creativity, uninhibited sharing, a sense of belonging, and connection with self and others.

What is shared in the hub, stays in the hub.

All you need to participate in this hub is to provide a first name, and it can be your real name or a pseudonym. Email addresses remain private unless you consent to share your address with another hub member.

Trust was paramount in my PhD studies which led to the publication of Using Writing as a Therapy for Eating Disorders. The Private Memoir Hub functions on the same level of mutual trust and respect maintained during my PhD’s collaborative research and book-writing process.

To explain:

Securing trust was integral to the creation of The Diary Healer in which 70 diarists around the world shared extracts of their private diaries with me. My belief in the need for this book had led to the mapping of the concept, a publishing contract and a cohort of research participants willing to entrust me with excerpts from their personal diaries, which until now had been kept strictly private.

Trust was intrinsic to the relationship formed with the research participants, and in developing a narrative to inspire trust in readers. Throughout the project, I needed to create a sense of inclusiveness with each research participant so that they felt sufficiently safe, secure and at ease in sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings.

Participants were invited to be known under their own name or pseudonym in any shared communication. Securing trust with each diarist was an important element in the project’s aim of reaching a target audience that comprised people who had experienced or were experiencing an eating disorder, and also those people who had yet to access health services.

Primarily for the ethical reason of providing identity protection, and to maintain an open line of communication, an e-mail address was the sole form of contact between myself and each research participant.

Without the opportunity for face-to-face meetings in this international environment, the development of an intimate level of trust required patience, empathy and understanding.

For the best result, while I needed the participants to trust me, I also needed to trust them. This bond of trust was reciprocated and strengthened through the sharing process. We were all diarists with experience of an eating disorder who felt sufficiently secure to share deeply private material and feelings of connection and belonging were strengthened through this mutual sharing of the illness experience. Diarists reported that their contribution to my book and research was providing them with a sense of self-worth and making their life count.

[T]hank you for the opportunity to share my story, … and for giving me a voice that I have not had before and validating what I have been through to get where I am.

Ruby in Alexander, 2016, pp. 236–237

Trust was procured through shared experience. At all times, I was mindful of my research participants’ distinctive vulnerabilities. I respected their right to withdraw from the project at any time and emphasised that their well-being was the highest priority. I nurtured their faith by identifying with their healing journey and through regular email communication, and by responding promptly to any query.

The research participants were continuing to live their daily lives during the two-and-a-half years of the book creation process and were subject to both psychological and psychosocial challenges at vulnerable times. There was also a risk that the reflection required in reading and sourcing excerpts from diaries, which had been written during a time of extreme mental and emotional duress, might trigger painful feelings and cause discomfort in the participant. These risks were reduced by establishing an early, strong bond of trust and respect between each participant and myself, so they felt at ease in sharing concerns and in seeking reassurance and clarification.

Trust was nurtured and maintained through the rigour of providing empathy, respect and understanding; regular communication; prompt response to every e-mail; no pressure—participation was voluntary; collaborative decision-making; careful wording of every item of correspondence; encouragement of sharing with a therapist/treatment team if any sign of ‘triggering’ occurred; and transparency at all times.

Sharing my story helped to secure a firm base of trust.

Research participants stated they felt connected and confident in sharing their story, ‘because you have been there too; I know you understand’. All remained involved in my project for its duration.

At the outset, the participants stated they wanted to contribute data for the research because sharing their stories would help them feel their life counted. After the project, they noted the process of reflection had led to an extra benefit, that of more clearly seeing their illness in the context of their life experience.

Welcome to the Private Memoir Hub, where you can trust that you are in a safe place to write and share your story.