My father believed in magic. He forever chased bigger and better, shouting his ideas from the rooftops so the world would look his way. My mother was, and remains, eloquent, challenging and well-spoken. In childhood, I struggled to be heard and understood because the need of both parents to be heard by each other swallowed..
Lying on the scanning table, my mind wanders, mentally running through tasks to complete before heading home. After comfortably (obliviously) shielding myself with denial, my default for 21 years, lying on this table is a mundane task. Blood tests, ultrasounds, MRIs, X-rays, and computed tomography (CT) scans are routine procedures that hold no fear, just..
My eating disorder (ED) stipulated that isolating myself was essential for survival. I had no capacity left in my mind or body to function as me. Until I could master self-compassion and self-care, any progress would be skin deep. To trust myself and become part of my treatment team required connection with the darkest layers within, where..
I stand at the kitchen bench and look at the dishes to wash. I see the shopping list out of the corner of my eye. I know that piles of washing are waiting to be folded. Instead of starting to do any of these mundane yet necessary tasks, I turn to the backdoor. With the..
“Recovery” is a treacherous word that is spoken about freely by people who have admitted they live with an addiction. From drugs to alcohol, eating disorders, workaholism, depression, anxiety, control, overthinking, self-harm or perfectionism, none of us are perfect yet many of us find a way to hold our pain at bay. For me this..
To eat and be placed in a holding yard is neither helpful, effective nor holistic when trying to recover from an eating disorder (ED). While hospital is useful and often necessary, our health system is like a bucket full of water. One that has so many holes that it is too easy to quietly slip..
When young, I never imagined the world had a plan of its own. I was only aware of my existence and those close to me, never questioning there was choice between how, where, what or why anything may happen and how I was expected to manage the external world when it started to penetrate my..
Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies. I am honest, trustworthy, loyal and fair. However, a part of me lurks in the shadows. A part of me that I try not to release and remain terrified that if seen will expose the ugliness within. This part of me is present and omnipotent..
If only an eating disorder (ED) could show up on a scan. What a disgrace our public health sector is in Australia. I say “our” as it could be you, your mother, sister, or friend instead of me. My mother always said, “Do not air your dirty laundry to others,” but now I am ignoring..