Friendship is a treasure to love and cherish, forever

Friendship is a treasure to love and cherish, forever

Friendship across the miles knows no bounds.

‘What is “knowing” someone?’ my dear friend, Laura, asks. I awoke this Sunday morning, in the south-east

Friendships are precious.

corner of Australia, far from the USA and England, and began reading Laura’s heartfelt tribute to Charlotte before I was even half-dressed and have been thinking about her words ever since. Such is the beauty and power of Laura’s pen.

One of many sayings I have collected on friendship says: ‘A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway’.  Such friends have long been my lifeline. I have one friend from earliest childhood, another from age 12, and several other close friends that have come into my life over the decades. In the past seven years, I have developed friendships made possible by the Internet, through eating disorder advocacy. This is how I met Laura.

At other times I have had chance or serendipitous meetings with people – in airport queues, sitting on a plane, in a bus, at a conference, in a store – one of my most precious friendships is with a young Amish woman, Betty, 40 years younger than me and living in MidWest USA – our friendship thrives on hand-written letters and an occasional visit, by me. We met when a friend took me to an Amish craft store, in rural Missouri – sitting behind the counter was this young girl, 16, who when she heard my Aussie accent, asked where I was from … later, Betty would explain that was her very first day working behind the counter … just as it was my first visit to an Amish craft store.

What is it, that creates a friendship? When I was 13, my Sunday School teacher, 50 years my senior (he was born in 1900, and I was born in 1950) left my rural district, to settle in Western Australia, 3000 miles away. We wrote long letters, by hand, to each other for the next 25 years – I grew up, writing to Mr Findlay. I would describe my depressions,  he would soothe my anxiety. I would describe my pregnancies and births, he would describe his heart attacks. He was a rock for me. Age is no barrier in friendship.

A love of writing binds many friendships. You don’t need to see each other in person to have a gem of a friendship. So it could be at a funeral, there are mourners who have never seen each other, but all of whom are connected intimately with the one who has died. It could be that the distance is such that you cannot get to the funeral, but you are there in spirit, and your love for that person, the impact of your life on their life, and their life on your life,  is no less.

Today, all of my closest friends live more than 200km from me. Our friendships are nurtured via writing, phone, Skype, and the ‘icing on the cake’ is when we catch up once in a while over lunch and coffee, and better still, overnight stays. Some friendships are for a long time, others are for a short time, some friendships are related to our work, or our hobbies, or our family, or our church, all become part of the rich and colourful tapestry that is our life.

Then there is this special realm of friendships that are for all-seasons and these are the very special friends who know all about us, and I mean, all, and love us anyway. These are the friends that can tell us straight, without fear of hurting our feelings, these are the friends we can count on to know what is best for us, when we are lost in confusion and doubt. When we lose or drop a stitch in our life tapestry, they find it, replace it, get us back on track. These are the friends who are there for us in all moments, both sadness and joy, who accept us as we are and love us anyway. These are the friends like Laura and Charlotte, whose friendship was, is and remains forever, priceless. A treasure to hold in this world and beyond. Bless you, Laura and Charlotte.