Dear Diary Blog

My father believed in magic. He forever chased bigger and better, shouting his ideas from the rooftops so the world would look his way. My mother was, and remains, eloquent, challenging and well-spoken. In childhood, I struggled to be heard and understood because the need of both parents to be...

My son Joe developed anorexia at the age of 12 in 2002. He lost 25 per cent of his body weight in 12 weeks. Since that torrid time, I have known that caring for a loved one with an eating disorder is exhausting, distressing, disorientating, excruciating and terrifying. As with...

I’ve broken yet again. What hope have I got? I wonder, but I must have hope. Must not I, for when I think there is none, I want to die because one cannot live without hope. (Diary excerpt, 1991) I’m 40 years old. The next day I regress further.  I’m...

A decade ago, my husband and I purchased an elliptical machine from a store that specialized in exercise equipment. The purchase price included a complementary session with a personal trainer. We took advantage of this offer, mostly to get some valuable pointers on how to use the machine and all...

It happened fast. Suddenly we were stuck in this black hole called anorexia nervosa. I had no idea how we’d gotten there so quickly, nor did I know how to get out. My 10-year-old (soon to be 11-year-old) daughter developed anorexia over the past year. Although she had probably already...

Yesterday was one of those days that did not work out as planned. All went well, initially. I was in the local, heated, 50m outdoor pool by 6.10am, doing a half-hour of prescribed exercises. I love being in the water. Then I came home, showered, and took Maisie for a...

Eating Disorder Awareness Week (EDAW) 2024 will take place in Korea from February 28 to March 5, with all seven sessions examining the theme of Epistemic Justice. The question of how to reflect the lived experiences of the eating disorder sufferers, and those of the mental health patients themselves into...

Dear Friends, My plans at the start of this year were to work less, play more, stay upright (that is, don’t fall over) and stay well. My diary reveals I have ticked most of these boxes but, as always, there is room for improvement. Here are some of the things...

Being a child with an eating disorder is no fun. I survived a 15-year-long battle with anorexia, the deadliest psychiatric illness. My childhood was shadowed by ruminating on my body’s appearance, constantly exploring new ways of secretly hiding uneaten food, and exercising intensely. During short periods of adolescence when I...

When I turned 80, I felt that my life was almost over. Deciding I needed some social connection and a new challenge, I joined June’s local community writing group. A year later, I have published my first book. Rather than stay at home and feel sorry for myself, I went...