Lunch at Covent Garden and feeling understood – boo to you, Anorexia Nervosa

Lunch at Covent Garden and feeling understood – boo to you, Anorexia Nervosa

Pooky and I met at London Victoria Station in London today. From there we caught the ‘tube’, with Pooky

leading the way, to Covent Garden, to find a nice quiet restaurant in which to have a long lunch – like about four hours:-). So much to share, making the most of the moment. We laughed as we studied the menu and made our selection. Once upon a time, such decision-making would have been extremely scary for each of us. Pooky and I are survivors of Anorexia Nervosa. More than this, we are living life to the full, and doing what we can to raise awareness and help others survive this dreadful illness.

Today’s lunch date with Pooky, was extra special. We ‘met’ over the Internet several years ago, through our mutual love of writing and eating disorder advocacy. Pooky has contributed to two of my books – Ed says U said, (co-author, Cate Sangster) and Anorexia Nervosa – A Recovery Guide for Sufferers, Families and Friends (co-author, Janet Treasure) but until this past week, we had not met in person. I live in Australia and Pooky lives in England. Yet today we chatted like we have known each other ‘forever’.

Conversation flows seamlessly when people who have recovered, or are recovering, from an eating disorder get together.  The same goes when talking with someone who has had an eating disorder. Connection is immediate. Why is this so? Purely my own deduction, but I think it is because we each feel understood; we understand. We don’t sugar-coat things. We know each other from the inside out. We don’t need to chat about the weather as an ice-breaker, or be pretentious, or give false compliments about each other’s appearance to set the scene for meaningless fairy floss gossip and chatter. We don’t have time or inclination for that. We value living and we value reality. We value life.

Pooky must be only half my age, and yet we speak as equals. Such is the ‘language’ of this illness. We are  individuals but our illness gives us an instant rapport. Moreover, I often chat with young people, children and adolescents,  who are more than 40 years younger than me. As soon as we meet, we are talking like long time friends. I forever marvel at this:-). There is one theme common to both of us: we  have ‘evidence of experience’ in living with, or caring for someone with, an eating disorder.

Eating disorders are a horrid, challenging illness. But when we talk about them, bring them into the light, they lose their power and their scariness. At every age and every stage.

Since I stepped out seven years ago from the shadows of my decades-old eating disorder, life has been an amazing ride. Every day is special. Today, to hug and share with Pooky, was truly special. If you have an eating disorder, reach out and seek help. Pooky and I were ‘lost’ in this illness ‘for years’. Today we are free. You can be, too.