These are the closing lines in ‘Ana‘, a music video created to promote awareness for eating disorders. I wish this video had been around when I was a kid. It would have helped me to understand that self-harming thoughts belonged to an illness and not the real me.
An eating disorder is a complex illness, and consensus on treatments remains scant. Likely, many small steps, along different paths, will be necessary for healing to take place. Much is written about, and much research devoted to, psychological, clinical and pharmacological treatments. These are important. But emergence of another, more self-driven form of assistance in healing inner wounds, brings special joy to my heart: through the narrative and the arts.
During the research and writing of Using Writing as a Therapy for Eating Disorders _ The Diary Healer, I have been excited to discover highly creative and talented people, whose lives have been affected by an eating disorder, finding healing and freedom through arts forms that include story-telling, poetry, music, art and animation.
Lilac Sheer is a singer/songwriter with a personal story that includes Anorexia, Bulimia, Exercise Bulimia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and more. Lilac writes:
These days, when kids as young as 6-7 are being diagnosed with eating disorders, I see animation as a tool for bringing this difficult subject forward in a relatable way on one hand, yet a non sugar-coated, non apologetic manner on the other, while using the same art form they adore, in a productive way.
Lilac, together with graphic artist Natalia Biegaj who animates the words, has produced Ana, an animated video that connects and adds to the artillery that we need, to raise awareness and put the eating disorder, which may be called Ana, Ed or any other name, on the run.
You will find more about Lilac’s personal story in the follow-up video ‘Ana – Behind the scenes’ (second on the playlist).
Here are the lyrics in Ana … watch the words come to life in the video. If you have an eating disorder, or have experienced the symptoms, you will feel you are being spoken to, and if you know someone with an eating disorder, you will gain more understanding of what they are going through. This video can be a talking point for building bridges of understanding. Every bit, every crumb, counts in the quest to expose the eating disorder’s secrets and gain personal freedom. Through sharing, we can help and inspire each other.
Ana (by Lilac Sheer)
You’re on the run, I know
You’re on the run, I seen it
You’re dodging the bullet, you think you can pull it off
It’s your pain that you’re eating
It’s your self-control that you’re feeding
Then you’re eating, then your heeding, then you’re bleeding
I know you’re afraid, I know what you’re doing to yourself
You’re lost in the lies, you’ve been telling, everyone else
How long has it been since you’ve seen yourself truly for who you are?
Have you wondered too far?
Can you look me in the eye and tell me
That everything’s ok, when it’s not
I can’t buy this ugly lie you’re selling
Cause I see you from Inside
There’s no need to run & hide anymore
You’re on the run again
You’re on the run, you’re spinning
You’re losing your hope, just please make it stop
It’s yourself that you’re killing
So you numb the pain, there’s no feeling
There’s no dealing, there’s no healing, you’re not willing
I think you should leave, I’m doing better on my own
Get out of my life, get out my head, ‘cause I can’t take it anymore
I really need you gone but I’m holding on
Without you I’m nothing, you’re my only friend
I bet you wish I was dead
Don’t you look me in the eye and tell me
That everything’s ok, when it’s not
I won’t live this lonely life you’re living
So I’m leaving
Buy the song or the full album
Lyrics, Music & Vocals – Lilac Sheer http://facebook.com/lilacsheerofficial
Animation & Design – Natalia Biegaj http://nb-animation.com